But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
