Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
