Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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