even the AIR tastes like tequila.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
