I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
