how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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