Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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