okay pat passed out under dana's car
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
