Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
