Got a toothbrush?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
