WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
