11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
