so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
If its not for food we ain't going out.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
