She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Randomize
