You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
