I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
