***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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