I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
