Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
