Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
