dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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