Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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