No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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