I look better un-naked...
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
