I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
