I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
How does it feel to date your dad?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
there is glitter all over my balls
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
