i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
