Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
