I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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