is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
