Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
