Don't make out with my wife yet
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
