I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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