...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
