hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
