At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
