On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
True college students do jello shots in the library
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
