God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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