Just fell off a train. Bad.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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