we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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