There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Dignity is for republicans.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
