she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
it glows. i had to have it.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
