rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
