you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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