She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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