So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
