ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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