Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
