i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I will pee on everything he values.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
be right there i have to get my cape
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
