JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
