Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
