And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
